some funny stuff with the cullens
by twilightistheawesomest
Summary: the cullens are getting into trouble it involves wisteling and alice going back to an asylum and more.please read its way funnier than the summary trust me
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:Hey this is my first story so if it totally sucked then let me know and i will try to make the next one better.

_**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING OF TWILIGHT OR RELATED TO IN ANY WAY**_

CHAPTER1

**BPOV**

**Today everyone but me and Alice went hunting and Edward had to go to Italy for some odd me and Alice where siting there on the couch we where so bord Alice started begging me to go shopping with her"pleeeeeeaaaasssee"she begged and of course i said no after hours of this she gave up and started wisteling don't trust me by when i realised that i don't know how to wistle,i asked Alice if she could teach ****me how to wistle and she looked at me like i was an idiot "you mean you don't know how to wistle"i shook my head no and so Alice gave me a lesson on how to wistle and after four hours of trying to learn i felt so dizzy i could have passed out if that is even possible got upset that she couldn't teach me and she ran away saying somethnig about being me being a terrible learner and something about craziness.****After Alice ran away i deciede to co to Charlie for help so i got in my car(wich i think is unnessarly expensive)and drove to Charlies i walked into the house he was watching baseball as usial.I walked over to him and asked him if he could teach me to wistle he gave me the same look Alice had and then he said "Bells i thought i already taught you how to wistle i shook my head no," well ok then i guess i can teach you."ok that would be great so then he tried to teach me and he really tried finally he realised that this would be harder than he thaught so he just said that maby i should ask someone else to teach me so i said thanks for trying and i gave him a hug and told him bye after he thought i was out of hearing distance he said "god wahats wrong with that girl shes 24 and she can't wistle i think i am gonna have a break down if she asks me to teach her again. Ugggggggg she made me miss the last of the game " **

**I got back home and Alice was no where in sight i must of really got in her nerves but i tried to learn honest "ugh"oh well i am gonna go to Edward's old room and keep about 30 minutes the rest of the family walked,in i ran down stairs and Alice still wasn't here i wonder where she went?I asked Esme if she could teach me to wistle"of coures honey no problem"we went through the same procedure i tried yet again but nothing happened Esme got a strange look on her face and told me to try again and i did and again nothing happened i told her that dad and Alice both tried to teach me but the same thing happened she just said "well bella maby you just wern't ment to wistle" that made even more upset i was already sad that i couldn't wistle and then when Esme said that it actuall hurt me cause she thinks anyone can do anything they put their mind to.I told her thanks for taking her time to help me and she said no problem and i got totally bumed out cause even Renesmee can wistle ohhhh thats it i can ask Nessie to teach me and so i found her and asked her i can't believe i asked my daughter to teach me to wistle. Nessie can you please teach me to wistle and she laughted and asked me why i needed her help and i told the about everything that had happened today and she laughed even harder at the thought of her mom comeing to her and asking her how to wistle and then she tried and with in 10 minutes Nessie got up and screamed as loud as she could and said"MOM YOU ARE HOPELESS I CANT BELIVE U CANT WISTLE GOSH"and she stormed she didn't have to be mean about it.**

**Now i felt like sobbing thats when Jasper walked in and told me my waves of sadness where about to kill him and so he asked wat was wrong and i told him and he just gave me this look strange look and walked then i guess i can ask Carlisle oh wait he's working and he dosnt like us to bother i found Emmett and asked him and he ran away and 2 seconds later he brought me four hundred books and told me to read them he said he could never figure out how to read so i should have them and then he left i looked at the first four books and they said "How to wistle for dummies,the art of the wistles,how to wistle songs,and then a book called how to read for children between the ages two to four" all of the sudden Emmett came back and grabbed the how to read book away from me and said he still needed that that was wiered i thought and then took the books back to the cottage and sat on the floor and read the books over ane over trying to figure it out i bet i read each book 10 times and by this time i was curled up in the corner dry sobbing and all the books were scattered around the floor and Edward walked in and and he took one look at me and was trying to figure out what was wrong and i told him and he simply said "make an 'o' with your lips and put your toung behind your teeth and and LIGHTLY blow"i tried it and then i heard a sound OMG i did it i wistled i started jumping up and down and then after i was done celebrteing we started our way to the house and i started wisteling a bunch of randome songs on my way way back up to the cullens house to showed everybody how i could wistle and they all clapped and Renesmee said"finally u figured it out, you where driving ****erybody crazy with trying to learn how to do something you shoule of learned when you where 3"and dad"thank you i don't know how you did it we all tried to teach her even grandpaw Charlie tried to teach her and she drove us all crazy and well for Alice crazy again" wait what do you mean i drove her crazy again?????"oh ummmmmm well yo-"Emmett cut in and said "you drove her to go back to the loony bin" Wait you mean i ****literally**** drove her insane or insaner?Wow when is she comeing back??this time it was Esme who replied "well sweetie they wont let her out till they think shes cured so it could be a while" Oh its all my fault i just wanted to learn how to wistle and now Alice is back in the wacky shack for who knows how long i am sooooooo sorry everybody especially you Jazz."Its ok Bells you didn't mean it and it shouldn't be to long before she gets out......hopefully" How about we all go visit her tomorrow? Carlisle suggested "ok" everyone replied.**

**DISCLAIMER: OK YEA NOT THE BEST STORY EVER I WILL BE WRIGHTING MORE CHAPTERS TO THIS AND SO PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME HOW TO MAKE MY STORIES BETTER I HAVE ALREADY READ SOME OF THE OTHER STORIES OUT THERE AND SO FAR THEY HAVE ALL BEEN AWESOME SO PLEASE HELP MY STORY BE AT LEAST HALF AS GOOD AS YOURS! THANKS FOR READING AND TILL NEXT TIME BYE **


	2. Chapter 2

**hey its me again but u already knew that cause its my story but anyway thanks to all the ppl that reviewed well thats about it oh yea ****I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT ****i wish i did but i don't so to bad for me i guess.**

CHAPTER 2 ALICE COMES HOME

**APOV**

Well it started off as a good day me and Bellsey where the only ones home and then i got bored and asked her to go shopping with my and she said no and well i gave in cause i can always force her to go tomorrow so i started wisteling my fav song Don't trust me by 3oh! turned to me and said that she didn't wistle i thought she was jokeing and i realised she ment it so i told her yea cause how hard could it be to teach her all i gotta do is tell her to make an O and l blow therough her mouth and well i thought wrong i sat trying to explain it to her and she just wouldn't do it wright and so then i got stressed out and frustrated i went crazy so then i ran away i got to town and then some lady asked me wat was wrong and she thought i was crazy so she sent me to an asylum.I easally could of escaped but their are tons of people around so i couldn't and how long can they keep me in here right....

**BPOV**

When we got to the asylum we saw lots of doctors and guards and the place smelled like doctor gloves it was really creeping me out i held on to Edward of course he senced i was tence and Jasper calmed me down and told me there was nothing to worry about and for some reason i always have to beleve went up to the front desk and told him we where here to see Alice Cullen and he took us to made us waight in the hall while he told her we where here to see we got in there Alice was sitting on her bed...knitting???....ummm ok i didn't know Alice could looked so happy to see us well she seemed to be the same to me well exept the knitting the doctor left us to talk to Alice.

**AOPV**

Well this is worst than the first time cause then i was human and now that im a vampire i can't let them do like any test caust i'm dead so they won't really work and i won't let them touch me or get near me cause i have been in here for almost a week and i haven't hunted in like two and a half weeks and if i don't get out soon then i am gonna definately kill some people and right when a doctor was about to tell me i was ok i had a vision and he asked if that happens a lot and i told him yes and he touught i was crazier and it lookes like i'm stuck here it wouldn't be as bad if i didn't have to wear this straight jacket i told them i wasn't a threat to the other patients and i wasn't gonna sneak out and so i finally got to take it off like fiv-"_bella-oh this is all my fault i just wanted to learn how to wistle and i made Alice go back to the wacky shack for who knows how long i am soooooo sorry everybody especially you -its ok Bells you didn't mean to and it shouldn't be long till she gets out ...-How about we go and visit her ?"_ Well they are gonna come visit maby i can get out then this place is really bringing back some menories *shivers* i hated that shock tharapy ugh maby i will try knitting to keep my mind iff things wow i havent knitted since i was at the old asylum hummm i'm actually good at it who knew i was interupted by a very anoying sound i looked up to see my doctor talking to me " you have some visitors" god i hate his voice it sounds like a britian on i wonder why i didn't see them comeing then Bella,Edward,Nessie,Rose,Em,Carlisle,Jazzy,Esme and Seth and Jake walked in thats why i didn't see them -"Ali poo i missed you"then he ran over picked me up and gave me a one of his big Emmett hugs man hes strong i missed you to Em you can put me down now though "sorry sis" as soon i was out of Emmetts grasp Bella ran over and started apoligizing"Alice i am soooooooooooo sorry i didn't mean to drive you crazy i just wanted to learn how to wistle wich i did but i am so sorry can you ever forgive me please please please please pl-" Bells its ok i know you didn't mean to and i forgive you but you do have to go shopping when i get out for all the days i missed while i was in here sound fair? "absolutely thats way more than fair thank you your my best friend ever i love you"*hugs bella*i love you to Bellsey *runs to jasper gives big hug and a kiss* Jasper god i've missed you sooo much "i missed you to"*kisses again* then the anoying doctor came back in and asked Carlicle and Esme to come and talk. Jake,Em,Nessie and Seth-"What is with that dudes voice he sounds like a britian on helium" so i'm not the only one who thinks his voice sounds like that??Ness-"dose he always sound like that?" Yea it gets really anoying and i think his name is .*everybody busts out laughing* Jake,Seth-"ummm we think you forgot to hug some people" oh sorry *hugs everybody* you know Seth,Jake i like hugging you guys your so warm and i have kinda gotten used to the smell i really didn't notice when yall walked and Seth-"awww Alice we like huggng you to we've really grown to like all of you guys even you are the niceist bloodsuckers we ever met especially you Alice and your parents."

Em-"How do you keep saying stuff at the same time?" Jake,Seth-"we don't know but its fun" Bella-"well its creepy and you should stop" Jake,Seth-"fine" *busts out laughing again* Carlisle and Esme come back with the anoying to tell everyone that i can come home and next time i start to go crazy just put me in a room by myself and give me some knitting supplises and if it gets bad enough to put me in a stright jacket and bring me i said good bye to and we all left but not before Emmett,Jake and Seth could break two fish tanks,a couch,four beds,one of their machines that they run tests on oh and emmett knitted a giant spider web and hung it from the cealing and tried to climb on it and made a big whole in the roof by then then they threw us out and told us to never come within fifty feet of this place ever again cause then before the roof incident Emmett started bothering the other patients and causd twelve people to have melt downs and five where doctors but thats Emmett for you gets you banned from almost everywhere you go.

**BPOV**

two weels later

Well all is back to normel well not normal considering we are who we are so back to how we where before the whole wistelking situation and again me and Alice are home by ourselves and oh so bored again Alice-"Bellsey boo will you please go shopping with me??" no we just got back not even five minuts ago "so please" no Alice "ok fine" then Alice starts doing can you teach me how to do that? Umm shur-*Alice has a vision* "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL!!!!" why not what did you see? "i was teaching you and you accidantelly pushed me over into a wall and then we got into a fight and ended up knocking the entire house down and Esme came back and got mad and chaced us to Canada for two weeks" oh then i guess you shouldn't teach me then.*sigh* "well if we move away from the wall then i could teach you" ok lets get started "ok first if the tree pose"like this yes woh woh falling *knocks Alice through the wall* "Bella oh no look wat you did" wat i did your the one that fell "but you pushed me" but you told me to fo that tree thing and thats why i fell and pushed you into the wall *starts screaming about whose fault it was and chaseing each other around the house and knocked down the house* Alice look wat we did oh no "damit there comeing in 30 seconds wat do we do?" ummm sit on the couch over there *looks over at the couch*its the only thing still standing "ok hurry act casual and maby she won't notice"

**ESMEPOV**

That was a nice hunt wasn't it everybody? "yes" Ed-" you know maby it wasnt such a good idea to leave Alice ans Bella anone together again" why do you say that? "because Alice is going crazy in her mind saying what do we do, what do we do come on think Alice think now she had a vision seeing us comeing and shes praying with bella" Lets go see wat they did *sees the pile of wood that was the house and bella and alice sitting on the couch with worried smiles as they wave in our direction* Alice,Bella-"Hi mommy so how was your hunt?" MARY ALICE AND ISABELLA MIRIE CULLEN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!!!??? Alice,Bella-"Well there was a small yoga accident that turned into a chase around the houce and then it kinda broke *laughs nervousely*" YOU TWO BETTER START RUNNING!!! * Chases Alice and Bella to Canada* Emmett-"at least i'm not in trouble" Carlisle-"lets start rebuilding the house" Nessie-"i'll get the ladder" Edward-"me and Rose"ll get the supplise" Carlise-" i'll go statr clearing away the old stuff" Emmett-" and i'll stand over here abd watch" Carlise-"EMMETT GET OVER HERE NOW" Em-"fine" 48 hours you guys did a good jub on the house you found everything we had before. Edward-"where are bella and alice at?" oh there somewhere in Canada , everyone"oh" two weeks later. *Alice and Bella walk in* finally yall came home i was startung to worry. Bella-"so your not mad anymore?" nope *bella and alice jump up and down and hugging me* well all is back to the way it was...for now.


	3. Chapter 3

disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT I KNOW IT SUCKS!

**CHAPTER 3 EMMETT!!!**

**EMMETT POV**

**Well its been like three days since Bells and Ali came back home and tomorrow where going hunting well im not allowed to go cause Carlisle found out that was the one that "accidently" broke the X-ray michine thing at the hospital **_flashback "Well this is boring i think im gunna go see Carlissle (he hates when i call him that) at the im of to see the Dr. the wonderful Dr. Carlissle la la la la *Goes into hospital and walks up to the lady at the front desk* HEY LADY! "can i help you sir?"yes im here to see my dad he works here did you know that huh huh huh did ya did ya huh?? " no i didn't know that whats your name?"well my name is Emmett "Wait your Emmett Cullen?"yes wait how did you know my last name can you read minds?"no has given us spicific instructions not to let you in so im gonna have to ask you to leave"*wimpers* but i wanna see my daddy*sniffels* "wwwweeeelll ok i mean what could it hurt? ok son hes right thr-" OH CARLISSLE WHERE ARE YOU????!!!!!!!!!! *Carlisle walke in* "Emmett what are you doing here?"WELL I GOT BORED"Emmett stop yelling youve been here not five minutes and your already disrupting the peace." sorry daddy "Emmett go back home now"fine bye Carlissle."Emmett don't call me that and bye" dad turned and walked back down the hall and i stood there for a few seconds and turned tword the door and took a steep then know ive never really seen the whole hospital and i turned and went down a when i saw a door that said X-ray room.I wondered what X-ray was so i opened the door and wakled inside and saw a big michins and so i walked over to it it had a bed looking thing and lots of buttons i pressed the on button and saw something move abov the table with a bright light so i went and laid on the bad and pressed the button again and the light thing moved above me and then a sheet with something on it came out and so i looked at it and it didn't have anything on it i had seen one of these things in s show and it usally had bone picturs on it so i tried again and again the sheet had just an outline of me no bones i thought it might be broken so i fixed it and i was about to try again but i heard someone comeing and so i hid in the closet in the croner of the room and looked at the people through the crack and there was d doctor guy and a girl that was limping he took the girl to the bed and she laid down and he put all this stuff on the and pit some galsses on and pressed the bitton and the michine caught on fire and he ran over and grabbed the girl and ran out the the michine exploded so i ran too i didnt need to catch on fire cause me+fire=no me anymore, hey i just did math yay me but anyways i ran home as fast as i flashback._**So then carlissle came home and he knew it was me that caused the michine to explode but come on i didn't mean to honest so now im in trouble again.**

Disclaimer:Well what did you think let me know and i will try tho make my stories better thanks bye


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